Working with Astrology, I have read people of all kinds and noticed some very uncanny similarities. Despite their sign, everyone is looking for their version of love. People are attracted to different people for various reasons, but true love is based upon chemistry. You need to have a level of compatibility to get along and sustain a relationship. Not everyone wants marriage, even if they do find someone that they want to share their life with. A lot of people relate in different ways, but all that matters is that it works for them and that they are happy. It is unfortunate when people lose faith in themselves and settle or believe that love is lost for them.
Astrology is an Affirmation
People enjoy Astrology because it is like an affirmation, which operates like “yes, I am like that”, and “yes, I am capable of that”, or “yes, I do that.” Astrology reminds us that we are all complex and full of different, unique capabilities. None of us are identical, but we might have similar expressions or qualities. We may want the same things, but we think about them differently and we feel differently about them. For example, some people are just happy being together without getting married or having a wedding. To those people it is the lack of this convention does not make their love any less valuable. For others, getting married is a necessity, they long to say those vows, and getting married is something they would not compromise on. That being said, life doesn’t always allow you to choose the destiny you desire. You can plan to marry and have children, only to discover that you can’t biologically conceive children the natural way. There are no absolutes in life. So much is out of our control, and it’s what you choose to do with the chaos that counts. How you chose to re-organize your life when someone or something comes and shuffles it up. As much as we always wish for the best, people don’t always get what they deserve. Not everything happens for a reason. Regardless of how it seems, no one is always winning all the time. Everyone experiences some kind of pain or some kind of loss in their life. You may not know it because there is this social pressure to always be okay. Like how many times do people apologize when they cry or get emotional? People are afraid to show vulnerability. People are afraid to show their truth. People think they have to paint this life picture of success and joy as opposed to shedding light upon the reality of their worries, fears, struggles, and hardships. Working with people, I have found that a life change, transition, or hardship turned them onto Astrology. These people needed a little bit of hope and some insight to help guide them towards a positive outcome. So often we reach out, but sometimes, we have to look within, we need to dig deep in order to trust in our natural innate gifts and know that we have the strengths and the powers to get through it. Other people don’t always have space for our emotional struggles and it will hurt when you learn the hard way who is really there for you and who isn’t, but you should consider yourself lucky if there are even a couple of people who provide support. If you have loved someone and felt that same love back, then you are lucky. As you get older, you will learn, with people, it is quality over quantity.
Learn to Let Go
If someone doesn’t respond to you—let it go, if some has drifted from you—let it go, if someone is giving you mixed messages—let it go. If someone is meant to be in your life, they will be, sadly there is nothing you can do to control the status of this. Time changes a lot of things, and it can heal a lot of things, but time takes time, and you have to let time take its course. Time will heal what it is supposed to, and sadly the rest wasn’t meant to be, no matter how much it hurts. You simply have to radically accept it, which means you don’t have to like it or love it, but you have to accept it and find a way to move on. If you truly love someone let it go, and if they love you, then they will come back to you, or at least that’s what they say. Regardless, you have to give whoever is rejecting your space, you don’t need to chase after someone who claims to no longer want you. It’s easier said than done because it is so hard to let go, especially when you’ve spent tens of years building an intimate relationship with someone you love, but you have to take heed of the reality that relationships change, and that dynamics in life can drastically change and affect relationships.
Love is Never Lost
The thing about life is that it keeps going, no matter who is losing. While you may something in one token, you can gain something new in another capacity. Take love, for example, you lose some love in your life by ending a twenty-year friendship, but a week later you join an art class and make three new friends. You are told by these friends how lovely and wonderful you are. In no time, these three friends are telling you that they love you, and you have come to love them too. While this newfound love isn’t the same as the love you lost, it does show you that that you will never be at a loss for love in your life. Love restores. Friendship restores. Relationships restore and they can improve.
I’ve been able to tell when I’ve thought people have met the one and also when I saw signs of toxicity in a given relationship. You can date someone for years only to meet someone better suited for you later in life, someone who you eventually settle down with for good. Treatment in relationships and friendships is crucial, and often people don’t see their own self-worth as they fail to demand more for themselves in relationships. They fail to set appropriate boundaries, which leads to all kinds of issues. It is important that both parties involved in the relationship feel like they are treated equally. The product of interest (which states that the person with the least interest has the most power) should not apply. Co-dependency should not apply. Kahlil Gibran describes lovers as pillars that require distance from each other to hold up a temple. “Even in a relationship, both parties need to have their own ability to hold things up, and it can’t be a relationship built on dependence. We’re better off standing up straight, and not leaning.”
As important people are to us, we can’t rely on them for our happiness. People can’t be the incentive, which keeps us alive. They can’t be the reason we are standing or smiling. Astrology explores the various passions of each sign, highlighting what each sign is capable of doing. It’s good to have outlets in life that are just about you and do not involve other people.
Success is the Best Revenge
Aside from wanting the perfect relationship and the right set of friends, most people want to be successful. Like love expectations, this really varies from sign to sign, but of course, there is some common ground. People can’t help but compare themselves to others. In a sense, we will never fully abandon the survival of the fittest mentally, and life can feel like a competitive rat race, and people size up their lives and see who is better. People will act like they are happy for people who do better than them, but inside there is a pang of envy.
Most people wish they could get rich doing what they love, but a lot of people have had to settle for a steady paying full-time job while pursuing their passion on the side, or as a hobby. Leo’s are really good at becoming their own boss and doing what they love. Pisces will often sit on their golden ticket or cash it in too late or not at all. Though there are always those special fish who rise to the top and surprise you. Enstine was one of them. Sagittarius was born to be a big deal and will have a hard time settling for the second-best. A lot of Sagittarius’ are natural-born bosses. Taurus works really hard for every penny of the good, solid money they earn and can often achieve seniority, but sometimes they are slow to make a change or claim all the true glory, which they deserve. Capricorn is bound to achieve great things and set big goals. Capricorn doesn’t like to settle for anything but the best. Air signs like Aquarius, Gemini, and Libra are a mixed bag. Aquarius has genius potential, and if exercised correctly can achieve greatness without limits. Gemini is highly skilled, communicative, and detailed-orientated—if they are career orientated and interested in what they do, they can really win and climb the corporate ladder. Libra can take on a big role, but they have to be responsible, focused, and inspired to bring their gifts to life for a consistent time period. Scorpio is very giving, hard-working, and smart, but it’s important that they love what they do so that Scorpio can be happy at work. Scorpio could easily do an important job in their sleep. This is also true of Cancer who is creative, crafty, and very empathic. Aries is born to succeed and lead by example. They tend to take charge of what they do. Career is usually very important to them and they tend to make it a goal to excel at their profession. Virgo might be more “behind the scenes”, but they actually make for excellent bosses or managers. Virgo is analytical, organized, and very intelligent.
It is true that some of the signs are more likely to be dominant work roles like managers and CEO’s. Attributes of certain elements the traits better suited for these roles. Generally, fire signs (Aries, Leo, Sagittarius) and earth signs (Virgo, Capricorn, Taurus) are more likely to be in charge in the workplace. Other signs are most artistic like air signs (Gemini, Libra, Aquarius) and water signs (Pisces, Cancer, Scorpio). Air signs have a good eye, they are very visual, they are able to see how things work, and will know what will look good together, they can put looks together, are prone to detail, and can easily spot a flaw. They have a flair for fashion, aesthetics, art, and beauty. They also have an artistic charm and are deep thinkers who see all shades of the canvas. They may also have artistic, musical, or creative abilities. Water signs are very intuitive and perceptive, they are very creative-minded and they usually make for good writers, musicians, and artists. They may have skills in the performing arts, graphic design, or photography. While some signs abandon their passions to get what they consider to be a “real job”, water signs are the most likely to stick with their passion no matter how much money it makes them. A lot of them would rather do what they love than sell their soul. Water signs generally fall in the less materialistic category.
A Pocket Full of Problems
Astrology rules out the need for black and white thinking—we are all complex, made of many parts. We might see a situation one way one day, only to learn more about the situation in the next moment. Astrology shows how everyone has a point of weakness and yet we still hold people accountable for things we consider to be wrongful. We still end friendships without even a real discussion. What do we gain from black and white thinking? Black and white actions? Communication is not typing letters onto a device and pressing send without a trace of emotion. Communication requires using your voice. Care enough about the people in your life to physically talk to them about the issue. Recognize what your boundaries are, and if a boundary has been crossed, but look at all the insinuating factors, consider all the facts, don’t try to interpret them, and don’t try to fill in the blanks. What you think you know, may not be, so it’s best to talk it through and really hear all sides to the situation. Sure, sometimes “sorry” just seems like a word playing on a broken record, a meaningless word that you’ve heard before. Sure, you’ve heard it all before, and you’ve seen people go back on their promises, but keep in mind, there might be more to that, and the situation might be out of their control. In these cases, ask yourself what is that person willing to do differently this time around? Is this person taking any necessary steps to change? Do you see any improvements? Emotions make it easy for us to say, “see ya”, but that’s the emotional mind talking. In reality, you’re hurt, but whatever happened doesn’t erase the history you’ve formulated with this person. Life might seem exhausting and never-ending, but in reality, life is short and you never know what is going to happen, tragedy has a horrible way of striking upon the best of people. Chances are you still care about the person you claim to be mad at or done with. It’s not my place to tell you what to do, but if they’ve expressed that they are sorry and have some concrete changes, it might be worth considering forgiveness. Keep in mind, some people have chronic obstacles standing in their way, which prevent them from being their best, productive selves. They might have the right intentions, but they simply can’t cut it. Everyone is given a different set of cards, and some people are dealt a very challenging hand. It’s hard to care when you are given a winning hand, I get this, but you have to try to understand that they aren’t able to control the notion that they hurt you. They are hurting. It’s not to say that they mean to, but if they realize this is happening, seek help, work on it constantly, and take it seriously then they might be worthy of a second chance. If someone had something that they couldn’t help, that they couldn’t control, would you really hold it against them? If so, life is a little, or a lot sad for that poorly dealt person who feels like they have to move far away somewhere and start over again because no one in their community will ever trust them again. Or no one accepts them because they are a product of a shitty hand.
XOXO Gossip Girl
Astrology touches on the positive and negative aspects of each sign, but I find that people are often sensitive to hearing the negative traits of their star sign. I’ve always tried to keep it real, but have experienced that some people really take it personally and take it to heart. Like, “Geminis are not liars”, or “Aries are not selfish.” It speaks to society on so many levels because people will speak ill of others behind their backs, but they won’t say it to their face. Gossip is actually the devil as stories break down and get distorted and eventually the “truth” becomes a lie. I had a very wise English teacher in high school who told us, “don’t tell other people’s stories…don’t share other people’s stuff.” She couldn’t be more accurate. I learned this the hard way when I hurt someone very dear to my heart by sharing his business—and to this day, I don’t think I can ever forgive myself no matter how sound my excuse is, the honesty is that there is no excuse. I just wish I was rational and considerate enough to listen to my old teacher. Nothing good can come from the act of sharing other people’s stories, no matter if you thought you had good intentions, no matter how sorry you are. Once trust is broken, some people can never see you the same. Trust is the most important thing, to many of us, to most of us, it is everything, and people’s traumas are sacred and extremely fragile. They are personal. If someone lets you in on this, it is a gift, it is something precious—treat it with gentle hands and an open heart. Treat it with the utmost respect, and grace it as if it was your own. Gossip destroys people, and what goes around certainly comes around. Recently, I was a part of a class where people who were my friends turned on me, believed lies about me, and were talking about me in a negative way. It felt awful. In fact, all of my life, I have felt like people were talking about me, swapping secrets, even in my own family, and I don’t think that I am wrong, and this notion is really painful. I know firsthand what it feels like to be the victim of gossip, and it’s just that, these people don’t know the truth, they have no real sense of my reality, they just speculate and shit talk, but no one confronts me or has the courage to speak to me in an honest fashion. Even the friends I have upset, they have talked about me, behind my back, but none of them have talked to me, and that’s gossip doing its work. Anytime you talk about someone in an unsupportive way and they aren’t physically present—you are gossiping.
Sure some signs are said to be more into gossip than others. Justin Timberlake is an Aquarius and he signs, “I’m a gossip sign”, Gemini is certainly known to have the gift of the gab and will shit talk their own friends—doesn’t mean they don’t love them. Leo usually gossips about famous people or people that big deal but not their friends. Leo will also gossip when they feel threatened or if someone has come at them first, but for the most part, Leo is pretty kind. Taurus only gossips about people they don’t like, otherwise, they are 100% loyal. Everyone is guilty of gossiping because what do people do: talk about people. Most of what we think is based on what we see and not on what we know for certain. For example, we see something on Instagram and make a quick, negative judgment or assumption. That’s gossip. Talking about something or someone without really knowing the context or the subtext. Sometimes even talking about the things that happen to us can be a form of gossiping if we target other people in a way that is subjective, derogatory, or insulting to the parties involved. It breaks ties. It hurts people. It can make you feel so paranoid like you could never feel comfortable in your own skin again, or believe that anyone could be interested in you ever again. The saddest thing about gossip honestly is that people believe it. Without any confirmation from the source, they take what they hear and they share it and down the line, it gets fabricated and shared some more and some more and some more until it becomes a monstrosity. Remember that saying,
“it’s none of your business what other people think of you. “Perhaps it is a lifesaver that we don’t get to know what people think of us or else we wouldn’t want to be alive. People are so cruel, critical, competitive, and jealous—they say things behind your back because they would never have the courage to say them to your face. I’ve argued with friends before, and one has actually said to me, “you have no idea what people say about you to me.” Even if I was thinking the same thing about her, it made me feel horrible, like I was this big laughing stock joke to people in our community. The power of the community, that word was so daunting, it just reminded me how hard it was to fit into this world, and how I could either die trying or I could laugh and give up.
Keep Your Faith
Astrology isn’t psychology or medicinal, but it can be uplifting to you when you’ve lost faith in your self.
I think we struggle our whole lives to be happy. We want love, but relationships are a lot of work. We want kids, but having a baby is also a lot of work and takes a great deal of responsibility—it takes a lot out of you. Some of us want the perfect love, the perfect family, and the perfect job. All of these things require a lot of attention, energy, and patience. In life, there is always stress. Work is usually demanding, even if you love what you do, it expects a lot of you. Then there are the intimacy pressures, are you happy with the level of intimacy between you and your partner? If there is a lack of intimacy do you view this as a problem? Are you both happy with where you are at? Do you feel like you are settling, or are you sincerely happy? Family matters always come into play. Maybe your single and looking and frustrated because you’re ready to meet the one? Maybe you feel like you are running out of time? Maybe you’ve been so hurt that you’re turned off of the idea of being with someone entirely? Maybe you are happy alone, but feel like you can’t relate to anyone in your life because they all have families? Maybe your married but struggling to start a family? Maybe you are having problems with your partner or your family or your best friend? Regardless to say, life is full of problems and everyone deals with them differently. Gender does play a role as women are more wired to talk about their feelings where men are not.
Some signs are more introverted than others and stick to vague communication while keeping their problems to themselves. Earth signs (Virgo, Capricorn, Taurus) are not super chatty about their problems. Virgos worry like mad and tend to think a lot about matters. Taurus will ruminate and become stubborn about issues, even if they are very tender at the root. Capricorn will want to solve the problem and will hate that it exists in the first place. They tend to be very private about their personal affairs. These three signs operate best in loving, lasting, long-term relationships. When things in love and work are going well, these signs are fulfilled and happy. Earth signs also like to be content with their physical appearance. They have to be totally self-satisfied internally and externally. These signs want the best from life but are happy if they have the basics, and are able to do the things that they love.
Fire signs don’t really like to admit defeat or show weakness. Leo, Sagittarius, and Aries are all strong signs and natural-born leaders. Leo believes that success is the greatest form of revenge. They have been known to kill their enemy with kindness. If something bad happened to a Leo, they might try to patch it up with something good. Leo might be dramatic or emotional at the start, but soon enough they will come back swinging. Male Leo usually keeps his problems to himself. He may talk to no one about it and keep his problems as secrets. He will shut down and he will feel low. His loyally is strong. When it comes to love, he often can’t overlook it.
Even if his love is unfaithful, he will likely still take her back—he loves this deeply, and can’t see fault in the one who captures his heart.
Leo girl will be vocal about her problems. She will talk to her close people, her partner (if she has one), her family and friends. She might even post something on social media, like a strutting lion, she will want the attention surrounding her problem, she will want her feelings to be validated. If she is a shy cub lion she might shut down into silent mode where she is ashamed or hurt and doesn’t want to talk to anyone.
Aries is the first in the zodiac so they are rated number one and expected to finish the race long before it is over. Highly ambitious and goal-orientated, Aries doesn’t really accept failure, at least failure isn’t really in their language. Vulnerability isn’t their strong suit. Personal details about them are not openly shared. Aries means business they don’t make room for emotion like they don’t make room for error. Aries would rather “keep going” and keep giving when problems strike.
Sagittarius is optimistic so when they fall off the horse it certainly hurts, but they are quick to look for the next ride.
Sagittarius hates to lose, but they love the game, and usually choose to keep playing. They don’t trust easily so are usually very private about their problems. They often feel like they can handle things on their own.
Some people need to vent and then they let it go because they refuse to have anything holding them down and they don’t want anything weighing over them and bothering them. Gemini is rarely a dweller. It depends on what it is, and how big the problem is, but usually, if it is a small thing, Gemini will talk about the situation/problem, they will discuss how it made them feel, and then they will let it go. Gemini is not one to hold onto things, and they don’t often have grudges on people. They tend to bear a light-hearted approach to people and problems. Not a sign to turn to emotions first, Gemini would rather wrap their brain around the issue. They think it through and they talk it through. Sometimes they avoid getting into trouble or intense confrontation. Gemini doesn’t always want to deal with problems, but they also have a way of charming their way out of them.
Libra can be private and secretive about problems. They are highly indecisive so they are not good at making big, important calls. They struggle for balance so they don’t always handle problems well. Tragedy breaks them. Sometimes Libra is too weak to take a real stance, and sometimes they can’t get serious about the situation at hand.
Aquarius is a huge humanitarian, and it can be a big help in a lot of problems. They will know how to positively contribute to situations—there can be a winning hero here.
Aquarius knows how to use good sense and intellect without letting emotion cloud their judgment. They can be strong when others are feeling weak—they can lead and be a shining example. Aquarius is methodical and genius. They are gifted and know how to utilize their smarts to be the top dog in a difficult situation.
Scorpio deals with their own problems privately and often alone. They will only share them with someone they truly trust. Scorpio is emotional, even if they hide it and seem so tough. When it comes to other people’s problems, Scorpio is all ears and full of helpful insight—they are usually the hero. Scorpio is very generous and will give everything, they aim to solve as much as they can for you. A good Scorpio is a lifesaver.
Cancer can be too sensitive, weak, and unable to handle problems. Problems affect their mood in a negative way. Problems cause Cancer stress, which makes it hard for them to communicate. Problems could shut the Cancer down in the worst way unless they are the type who have learned to laugh it off and roll with the punches. Cancer is often a good friend, very caring, and will lend a concerned ear to other people’s problems. You just have to catch them at the right time.
Pisces can either choose to submit to their problems or learn, grow, mature, and prosper from them. Either they don’t grow up and stay down, or they become wise, enriched, and brighter. Pisces has great insight and great advice for other people’s problems. Pisces will benefit the moment they begin to take this advice within. This sign is very empathic and emotional, but they have the ability to learn a lot from their experiences as they can make them both stronger and happier.
Keep it Moving
Astrology doesn’t have the answers, but it’s a source of inspiration—something to turn to for affirmation or insight. We are all different people with different paths who seek different things. What we can learn is to not project our life expectations onto others, as much as we want to be free to make our own choices we have to let others do the same. We should want and wish happiness for all, and accept when good things come to an end as we learn that not all things in life can last even if you’ve invested a lot in them. Things change, people change, and you change. Mistakes are bound to occur, learn from them, try your best not to repeat them, and have self-compassion. The relationship that you have with yourself is the one that counts the most, and when you are strong within you will attract others. Rejection is a hard pill to swallow, but you’ve got to accept the loss and open yourself up for what’s to come. Treat others the way that you would like to be treated. Have respect for their stories, and don’t share their personal secrets or traumas because gossip brings trouble. Try every day to practice honesty and kindness. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable, shed some skin, and see how good it feels to just breathe.