Tarot cards and, more recently, oracle cards are outstanding tools for psychological and spiritual work. Each year they become more and more a part of the common vernacular and readily available in mass-market venues, especially the online retailer, Amazon. The number of decks available in and out of print is mind-boggling, easily in the thousands, especially if you go do a search for decks on eBay.
Once shrouded in mystery and a “tool of people with questionable character, dark intentions, or acolytes of heathen beliefs”, tarot and oracle cards are enjoying widespread acceptance. This article will talk about the best way to use your tarot cards to get answers about love and relationship.
How to Ask a Question about Love and Relationship
You might think it’s easy, just ask, “does he or she love me?” Unfortunately, that is the wrong question. I know it’s common to say there are no wrong questions, but that would be incorrect. There are plenty of wrong, misguided, foolish, and useless questions, which is why, for a tarot reading, it is important to ask the right question in the right way. So, what is the right way to ask any question of the tarot?
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Questions should always be self-focused, even when they are about someone else. If you want to have the cards answer a question about what someone else is thinking or feeling, then you are using the cards unethically and will invite all kinds of trouble on yourself and with regard to your concern. But, you say, “I want the cards to tell me if I am going to get the promotion I applied for” or “if the girl or guy will say yes if I ask them out”. If so, then talk to your boss or ask the girl/guy out … the cards will be less reliable than going to the source.
However, you can still ask a question about the promotion or the girl/guy; you just have to keep the question focused on yourself. Regarding the job, here’s what you should ask, “what do I need to know if I do get the promotion?” And/or, you can ask, “what do I need to know if I do not get the promotion?” Both of those questions are YOUR questions.
The same wording applies to questions about love and relationship. “What do I need to know if I find out s/he loves me?” or “what do I need to know if I find out s/he does not love me?” “Should I wait for him or her to ask me to get married?” or “should I ask him or her to marry me?” The questions always need to be self-focused to use the cards properly and to get a clear and useful answer.
Reading the Cards
You can do a love and relationship reading using one card or all seventy-eight. Mostly three to ten cards work best. You can draw the cards in a sequence without any prompts, just pick any three to ten cards. Or you can assign designations to each card draw, like past/present/future for a three-card draw. Let’s say you want to really get to the heart of the matter regarding your relationship. If so, then this is the key question to ask, “how do I feel about the way my partner/lover/significant other treats me?”
Let’s say you decide to do a three-card reading using the Halloween Oracle (since this article has been written for publication in October, before Halloween). You draw for the past, the present, and the future and you get:
In the past, you have dealt with issues of control, either trying to control the other person or being controlled by them. This never yields a good result. You do not want that energy to show up in the present moment. And if it is, then you need to address it.
Presently, you need to engage in an act of forgiveness, which may or may not mean the relationship continues. Maybe the forgiveness is healing for the relationship to continue or maybe it is healing for the relationship to end. Either way, you will need strength going forward, the strength to make the relationship healthy or let it go, without malice, and move on.
One way or another you feel like the relationship has had a past difficulty and you are trying to forgive the damage in order to move forward positively, keeping in mind that forgiveness does not necessarily mean staying; only you will know the truth of any possible meaning of the cards in your situation.
A More Complex Reading
If you want to do a more complex reading, you can select a court card that aligns with your Sun sign and that of the person you love and pull them out of the deck. If you have the same Sun sign, then the card for that Sun sign represents you both.
- Aries – King of Wands
- Taurus – Queen of Pentacles
- Gemini – Knight of Swords
- Cancer – King of Cups
- Leo – Queen of Wands
- Virgo – Knight of Pentacles
- Libra – King of Swords
- Scorpio – Queen of Cups
- Sagittarius – Knight of Wands
- Capricorn – King of Pentacles
- Aquarius – Queen of Swords
- Pisces – Knight of Cups
Having these cards out in front of you can help you focus energy for the reading. Just remember that all the card energy goes through you and does not pull from the other person. You can also increase the focus of the reading by asking a series of questions rather than just selecting cards or assigning them designations.
Here’s a six-card reading you can use; feel free to lay the cards out any way you want so long as you know the sequence of your card draws as they go with each question. Let’s stick with the “how do I feel about the way my lover treats me?” as the overall question. Below are the six questions to ask out loud, then draw a card.
- What do I need to know right now?
- What is the challenge I need to be aware of?
- What is obvious?
- What is hidden?
- What do I need to know from the past?
- What do I need to know for guidance going forward?
I suggest drawing all cards face down until you have all six, then turn them over in order and find your answer. If you read with an excellent question and integrity, you will get the perfect love and relationship answer you need.