Maybe you’ve heard the lore around the first wife of Adam–No, not Eve–Lilith! And she may have been cast out of the Garden of Eden for demanding equality with her new husband, but she has found a powerful and beloved place in modern astrology. Like any myth, the importance and meaning of the figure Lilith has changed over time as the ideas and values of humans have evolved, so working with your own Black Moon Lilith (BML) can help you reach a new sense of personal liberation.
The first hurdle we need to jump over together is learning that there is more than one Lilith in your birth chart. 1181 Lilith is an asteroid, but that’s not the one we’re talking about today. In fact, BML is actually a mathematical point, meaning that there is no physical body in our solar system called Black Moon Lilith. BML is the point in which the moon is farthest away from earth in its orbit, AKA the dark path of the moon.
BML stays in one sign for about 9 months, the same length of time that a human child gestates in the womb. This connection does not go unnoticed since BML is a point in your chart which points to the ways in which your parents and guardians may have failed in nurturing you in your formative years.
If your moon signs show how you need to be nurtured, BML shows us the effects of those needs not being met.
I often think of our BML placement as a weapon, whether you use it for good or evil is up to you and your circumstances. When BML is used unconsciously she often shows up as a sharp weapon, keeping you safe from disappointment. When used consciously, BML can be a tool for liberation.
In your youth you were given too much independence and this made you a hyper independent adult (though the pendulum can swing the opposite way into co-dependency as well). The idea is that if you’re alone no one can disappoint you, but they also can’t help you move your couch when you need a hand! The goal is to be safe in your independence while also recognizing that humans are supposed to help one another.
In your youth you were likely shamed for indulgence. Maybe you loved junk food, or spending a sunny day inside playing video games, but the adults in your life sought to shame you for this. Instead of vacillating between hedonism and puritanical restriction, your goal should be moving at your own pace and enjoying the simple, yet sensual pleasures of human existence.
You were told to quiet down a lot in your youth. It might even be that you were shamed for your intelligence by your parents or guardians. Your voice is the source of your conflict and the area that needs healing. If you’ve been restricting your voice and not saying how you feel for some time, all of it will come bursting out of your mouth in the harshest way possible. As a tool for liberation, having a Gemini BML is about speaking your truth and honoring your word.
Since Cancer is ruled by the moon, this BML placement cuts pretty deep. What it means is that you did not feel loved as a child. Perhaps your parents made sure you ate and got to school on time, but taking care of your kids and loving them deeply are two different things. You may find that you have grown into a people pleaser who will bend over backwards for others, but you need to learn the power of self love and acceptance before you can truly give love without accidental harm.
In your youth you were made to feel guilty and shameful for being bold, bright, and a bit dramatic. Because of this you may ridicule others for being dramatic or seeking attention. You can turn into quite a bully in school, but like any bully you were hiding behind an immense hurt. You should consider taking up that performance art you never got to do as a child. You are not too old to do community theater, take a dance class or go to music lessons!
It’s likely that you grew up with strict parents or in a strict community, and you might not have had much control over your environment. You set boundaries and restrictions on yourself and others as a means to seize the control that wasn’t yours in your youth. This BML is about learning to free yourself from the conditions of your childhood; release the restrictions that do no good and hold firm to the ones that most benefit you.
You probably had loving parents that truly gave everything they could to parent you. This is certainly a privilege, but the thing to examine in yourself is your codependency. You often use your own giving, selfless energy as a tool to manipulate those around you into liking you. The goal should not be to be liked by everyone but to be loved and accepted fully by those closest to you.
BML’s sexual nature is pronounced in Scorpio. Sex played some sort of role in your youth, whether that was learning to self pleasure early and being shamed for it, growing up in a restrictive church which preached abstinence before you even knew what sex was, or something of the like. Your journey is about finding a safe and healthy relationship to sex possibly through kink and sexpositive communities!
You may have felt like you were raised in the wrong family, country or religion if you have a BML in Sagittarius. You have a restless, adventurous spirit and should seriously consider spending at least a year living abroad to satiate your wanderlust. You gain the most power when you’re studying philosophy, psychology and religion.
You were taught to follow the rules and play the game as a child. Success is a single road and that’s the one you were told you must walk, but your authenticity comes when you take the time to define what “success” means to you. You must work to make yourself happy, not follow some golden dream to please your parents or society.
You were a rebellious kid and teenager, needing freedom at all costs. You also likely felt like you stuck out like a sore thumb amongst your peers. This may have caused you to be independent and a bit reclusive, or act like a rebel without a cause. You aren’t meant to live life on the fringes, you are at your best when you can lead the way for others to embrace their own wacky individuality.
Childhood was confusing for you because the lines between what was real and what was imaginary were thin. Your dreamy nature may have made childhood hard, but your imaginative eye is also your strong suit. You have a penchant for self destruction but if you can focus that energy on creativity you’ll find that this world isn’t so bad after all.
