As a professional tarot reader, clients often contact me for many different reasons, but the top two concerns I address most often are relationships and careers. Tarot and oracle cards can prove surprisingly helpful when asking questions and seeking answers about your relationship and your career. This article will focus on relationships and how to ask the most helpful questions and get the most insightful answers.
Choosing a Deck
In truth, any deck can be used to answer questions regarding relationships, but some decks lean into questions about relationships more than others. One deck I enjoy using, and clients appreciate, is the Sun and Moon Tarot. This modern deck is visually accessible, so messages are very clear for the reader and the client. Below are some sample cards from this deck:
All tarot decks have cards that deal with friendship, family, and romance … in the suit of the cups. So, working with a deck that appeals to you is what is most important.
Asking the Questions
I know, from experience, that clients often want to know a future outcome more than the spiritual work of a situation, which is why people often sit down across from me and ask, “will I get married?” or “will the person I want to ask out say ‘yes’?” Practically speaking, you should ask that question to your love interest, not the cards. When a future outcome is in the hands of another person, if they are not drawing the cards with you, then your question is “spiritually inappropriate”.
However, there is a way to ask a question about another person that is spiritual in nature, making the cards the perfect tool to provide you with a helpful answer. If you reframe the question and ask, “how do I feel about the way my partner treats me?” or “if I ask my partner to move in with, what should I consider if that person says, ‘yes’ or ‘no’?”, then the cards can provide you with useful insights. Perhaps you have been asked to get married, making your question, “should I marry this person?”
A Three Card Reading
One of the most basic reading spreads is a 3-card reading based on a card for the past, one for the present, and one for the future. I am going to suggest modifying this spread using a series of three questions, “What do I need to know now?”, “What is my challenge?”, and “What do I need to know going forward?”
Question 1: Should I marry this person?
The cards drawn are the following:
What you need to know is the Eight of Swords, interference, indicating that you have serious doubts and do not feel fully aligned with this person. You feel you are compromising. Your challenge is the Ten of Wands, oppression, telling you that the marriage will feel like a burden rather than something that will lift you up. Finally, the guidance going forward is the Hermit, which is telling you to take some time alone to reflect on the proposal deeply, and away from others and their input. In short, the answer would be no, or not at this time.
Question 2: How do I feel about the way my partner treats me?
The first card selected for what you need to know now is Justice, indicating that you feel you are treated fairly and there is a good balance in your relationship. Your challenge is the Eight of Pentacles, prudence, suggesting that you feel your partner helps you keep from acting rashly and has your best interests at heart. Lastly, going forward, the Ten of Pentacles, wealth, shows you that you feel you can be highly successful in this relationship and build wealth over time. It is not the most passionate set of cards, but the security of the relationship is very strong.
Question 3: How can I most help my aging parents?
This question is a good general question to ask about your aging parents from time to time. Here are two different readings.
What you need to know now is the Queen of Cups, which means you will have to take on more responsibility regarding them and may even start transitioning into a parental role to care for them. Your challenge card is the Two of Swords, which is letting you know that you will have to start making decisions for them and will have to do so logically, learning to be at peace with your decisions. Your guidance going forward is the Seven of Wands, valor, indicating that they will likely challenge the change in responsibility, but you will have to stay firm with what you know is the right thing to do on their behalf.
Another reading of the same question with three different cards would be:
What you need to know now is Judgement, indicating that a significant decision faces you and your family. Your challenge card is the Six of Wands, victory, suggesting that you know they have been successful and will not do well in retirement. Therefore, your guidance going forward is the Three of Pentacles, works, which suggests you need to find a way to keep the engaged and busy.
As you can see from these sample readings, each set of card combinations offers different insights around questions about relationships. If you add more cards, you will add more information. Always remember that you are the agent of your life story, even when others are part of the story. Use the tarot to help you be more conscious about your relationships and how to make them successful and happy.