Rediscover Joy: How to Reconnect with Your Inner Child

More responsibilities, less time for yourself, fewer friends. It’s well-known: as we age into adulthood, joy can slip away. But this doesn’t have to be a foregone conclusion! A psychologist conceptualized the “inner child,” that part of us that can help us rediscover joy. Ready to embark on this journey?

The Current State of Mental Health

As discussed in our article about the link between mental health and running, mental health has become a central topic of debate. In the past, cancer was seen as the defining illness, but today, stress is recognized as one of the main contributors to its exacerbation. A study conducted by the Mental Health Foundation in 2017, involving 4,619 participants, found that “74% of people reported being so stressed that they felt overwhelmed or unable to cope.” Of these, “51% of stressed adults reported feeling depressed, and 61% mentioned experiencing anxiety.” These figures are alarming, highlighting the fragility of mental health, even before the global health crisis. The study identifies several sources of stress, such as debt, the pressure to respond to messages, and concerns over self-image.

Could a solution be found? Could returning to the concept of the inner child be a way to rediscover joy?

What is the Inner Child?

Definition

The term “inner child” (or divine child) was first coined by psychoanalyst Carl Gustav Jung in 1940. According to him, the inner child is the childlike part of both men and women. It represents the sensitive part of our personality that can lead us to act in childish ways.

How does the Inner Child Act?

Everyone has an inner child, and it manifests more or less frequently depending on the individual’s personality. Here’s one thing to understand: if you suppress your inner child, it will become sad, and so will you. It is there to experience emotions, both positive and negative. However, we often suppress our negative thoughts and behaviors (anger, helplessness, sadness) due to societal expectations placed on adults. Unfortunately, by repressing this part of our inner child, we isolate it and prevent it from experiencing positive emotions like happiness and joy.

My inner child feels all emotions—tears of sadness and joy. And I am the only one who can take care of it.

Among the causes of inner suffering are:

• Rejection and humiliation
• Emotional neglect
• Unjust punishments
• Family secrets and arguments
• Instability
• Abuse

How Do I Know If My Inner Child Is Hurt?

You likely feel it deep within you. Nerves fray, and you feel disconnected from yourself. Here’s a non-exhaustive list of possible inner wounds:

• Fear of abandonment
• Feeling misunderstood
• Self-criticism
• Guilt
• Loneliness
• Over-sensitivity
• Sadness
• Suppressed anger
• Control issues
• Phobias
• Fatigue

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How to Care for My Inner Child?

Reassure It

Like all children, your inner child experiences emotions intensely. It can jump for joy or explode in a tantrum. And it’s even more difficult because it feels the emotions of an adult. Can you imagine the suffering it might experience? Your role is to nurture your it, to protect it from the pain of the world.

When you feel negative, dark emotions surfacing, allow your inner child to express itself. It may explode, scream, or become frustrated, but it must be heard by you. Why is it acting this way? How does it need reassurance? Is this based on reality or just a whim? Remember, you are facing the five-year-old you once were, dealing with the problems of a thirty-, forty-, or fifty-year-old. Can you understand that?

Don’t be afraid of its emotions; on the contrary, embrace them. To help, you might carry a photo of yourself at age five. It will provide you with a visual anchor to better understand and connect with your inner child.

Accept It

You might not immediately like your inner child. It represents everything you’ve suppressed—an emotional bundle of nerves and sadness. But you must leave a door open for it to express itself. Can you imagine the overwhelming force of emotions trapped within someone who has been silenced for years? It can be explosive and hard to manage, but it’s essential!

Give it the attention it craves. It suffers and needs to purge that pain. This suffering doesn’t come from you, so don’t be too hard on yourself. Love yourself, because if you become a sad parent to your inner child, it will be sad too. Guilt is a feeling tied to children, and also to your inner child.

Listen to It

This is a summary of what has already been mentioned, but a reminder never hurts. You must listen to your inner child, especially acknowledging the message it is sending you. It’s not just about letting emotions explode. You also need to let it know that you received them and that you will do everything you can to help. This is exactly what a parent would do for their child. You validate its presence, offering it a space to express itself and an opportunity for introspection, teaching patience, structuring thoughts, offering attention, and more. For your inner child to feel heard and full of love, it’s vital to apologize for neglecting it and remind it of how much you care.

Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither will your relationship with your inner child be fixed overnight. It takes time to reconnect with your inner child and provide it with the care it deserves.

A Happy Inner Child = A Happy Me?

Yes, that’s what should happen. When your inner child feels protected, loved, and listened to, it won’t have any more tantrums because it will no longer be guarding your emotions. Its grip on your emotions will loosen, and each of you will resume your proper roles. It will be the child, and you will be the adult.

In turn, your inner child will be free to embrace something every child should know: happiness. It will no longer fear asking for attention, will act freely, and will feel joy. It will rediscover joy, and all of this will reflect on you.

You deserve it, and so does your inner child.

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