AstrologyHoroscopes

Astrology Humor

The Light and Dark Side of the Zodiac Signs

Each sign of the Zodiac emits a particular type of energy signature, shaped by its element, modality, and point of rulership. The four elements – Air, Earth, Fire, and Water – apply to three signs each: Libra/Aquarius/Gemini, Capricorn/Taurus/Virgo, Aries/Leo/Sagittarius, and Cancer/Scorpio/Pisces (respectively). There are three modalities – Cardinal, Fixed, and Mutable – that apply to four signs each: Aries/Cancer/Libra/Capricorn, Taurus/Leo/Scorpio/Aquarius, and Gemini/Virgo/Sagittarius/Pisces (respectively). Aries is ruled by Mars, Taurus by Venus, and so on.

Air is thought; Earth is the physical; Fire is spiritual, and Water is the emotions.  Cardinal energy initiates and leads; Fixed energy stabilizes and orders; Mutable energy adapts and serves. Points express the “ideal” of the energy.  Combine the element, modality, and point of rulership and you get a unique signature for each sign that helps us understand the nature and “application” of that sign out in the world. This article will look at some humorous ways to understand the signs, both in terms of their positive and negative expressions.

Humor and Astrology

Astrology is a complex tool and a wonderful subject for serious study; I work with it professionally and constantly encourage people and readers of my articles to get their full chart cast by a professional astrologer using professional astrology software.  To get your full chart cast, you need to know your birth date, birth location, and birth time.  All three are essential for casting an accurate chart.  This complex understanding and use of astrology is not as well-known as the daily horoscope, which makes pronouncements about the Sun signs.

Because astrology is so widely known through Sun signs, a lot of humor about the signs constantly shows up on websites, printed cards, t-shirts, and so on.  As someone who works with astrology constantly, I can often find the humor quite insightful and fun to “play around” with.  This article contains some of my attempts at humorous reductions of the signs of the Zodiac to convey some of the archetypical meaning in a playful way through quotes you could put on a t-shirt to give as a gift to a friend, co-worker, or family member.

Aries

Aries is the Cardinal Fire sign of the Zodiac, which means it “initiates spiritually”.  The sign of “I act”.

Quote for the Light Side of Aries

“I act, let me help!”

Quote for the Dark Side of Aries

“I act, get the hell out of my way!”

Taurus

Taurus is the Fixed Earth sign of the Zodiac, which means it “stabilizes and secures”.  The sign of “I need”.

Quote for the Light Side of Taurus

“I persist, you can count on me!”

Quote for the Dark Side of Taurus

“I persist and won’t ever change for you.”

Gemini

Gemini is the Mutable Air sign of the Zodiac, which means it “communicates and learns”. The sign of “I seek”.

Quote for the Light Side of Gemini

“I love to learn, let me share what I know!”

Quote for the Dark Side of Gemini

“I love to learn; stick, ball, squirrel!!”

Cancer

Cancer is the Cardinal Water sign of the Zodiac, which means it “nurtures and protects”. The sign of “I care”.

Quote for the Light Side of Cancer

“I nurture, let me take care of you!”

Quote for the Dark Side of Cancer

“I nurture, let me sMother you!”

Leo

Leo is the Fixed Fire sign of the Zodiac, which means it “leads and plays”. The sign of “I stand out”.

Quote for the Light Side of Leo

“I shine, let me entertain you!”

Quote for the Dark Side of Leo

“I shine; love me or I will hate you!”

Virgo

Virgo is the Mutable Earth sign of the Zodiac, which means it “serves and solves”.  The sign of “I help”.

Quote for the Light Side of Virgo

“I perfect; what can I do to help you!”

Quote for the Dark Side of Virgo

“I perfect, let me point out all your faults!”

Libra

Libra is the Cardinal Air sign of the Zodiac, which means it “relates and analyzes”. The sign of “I connect”.

Quote for the Light Side of Libra

“I relate; what can we do together?!”

Quote for the Dark Side of Libra

“I relate; I will never leave you alone!”

Scorpio

Scorpio is the Fixed Water sign of the Zodiac, which means it “transforms and penetrates”. The sign of “I change”.

Quote for the Light Side of Scorpio

“I regenerate; I will protect you!”

Quote for the Dark Side of Scorpio

“I regenerate, I am here to torture you!”

Sagittarius

Sagittarius is the Mutable Fire sign of the Zodiac, which means it “expands and proselytizes”. The sign of “I know”.

Quote for the Light Side of Sagittarius

“I expand, let me show you the world!”

Quote for the Dark Side of Sagittarius

“I expand; get out of my way!”

Capricorn

Capricorn is the Cardinal Earth sign of the Zodiac, which means it “achieves and excels”.  The sign of “I succeed”.

Quote for the Light Side of Capricorn

“I succeed; let me share with you!”

Quote for the Dark Side of Capricorn

“I succeed; you are a speed bump on my drive to achieve!”

Aquarius

Aquarius is the Fixed Air sign of the Zodiac, which means it “revolutionizes and awakens”.  The sign of “I idealize”.

Quote for the Light Side of Aquarius

“I idealize; let’s be authentic together!”

Quote for the Dark Side of Aquarius

“I idealize; who you calling weird, weirdo!”

Pisces

Pisces is the Mutable Water sign of the Zodiac, which means it “spiritualizes and cleanses”. The sign of “I imagine”.

Quote for the Light Side of Pisces

“I dream; let’s share a dream!”

Quote for the Dark Side of Aries

“I dream; you are my addiction!”

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Philip Young

I am a spiritual adviser located in Cary, North Carolina. I earned my PhD in English from the University of North Carolina at Greensboro in 1996 and had a career in academics until 2007, when I retired to become a stay-at-home father. In 2013 I “hung out my shingle” starting my business Black Unykorn Enterprises, LLC. I provide spiritual guidance using different tools: astrology, tarot/oracle cards, numerology, and past life regression (using muscle testing). With a home office, Zoom, WeChat, and WhatsApp, I work with local clients in person and distance clients from around the world. You can read about my practice and contact me through my website: https://www.blackunykorn.com.

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